Cooking for Dum(me)

Dinnertime in our house sucks. I have about five meals I make decently enough to not hear complaints, but that gets old really fast. I’ve tried branching out and collecting recipes on Pinterest, but honestly, I’m pretty fed up with the “eww, I don’t want that” and “yuck, that’s gross” that I hear practically every single time I cook something new. And that’s only my husband. 😉 With the time I spend planning, shopping for the ingredients, cooking, and then cleaning up, each meal is a three hour affair. So I recently decided to succumb to the advertising in my Facebook feed and try one of those “meals delivered to your door” sites.

Now the one I tried was cheaper because of a friend’s coupon, but I was immediately perturbed by the fact I couldn’t choose the meals. What kid likes more than five things? And the fact that you could only order for two people or four. Um, two of my people eat enough for four people. There was no way we were going to have enough food. I was already skeptical, but what did I have to lose? (Except $70).

Anyway, the box came today and I honestly should have video taped it all. Instead, I’ve put together a lovely photo collage with captions about my evening cooking experience.

What in Fresh Hell is this????


I have to put these ingredients together????
These are directions? This looks complicated! Where are the Dummy Directions?


It says use a small pot…well which one do they consider small????


You’re supposed to use a measuring cup to boil water for rice? Oh, I guess that’s what I’ve been doing wrong.


I’m struggling with getting the ginger in here to grate.


This is really hard. Seriously, it’s hurting my hand.


This is a pain in the ass…I don’t think we REALLY need the ginger. To hell with the ginger.
This is supposed to be enough green beans for a family of four??? What are we, mice?
Green onions…I HATE green onions. What is WITH them? Why are they in every “Healthy” thing I try to eat??? Do they put them in there so you don’t get sick? I mean, who’s coming near you after you eat a bushel of green onions besides the dog? (And he eats his own poops, so it’s not really complimentary).
Ok I think the rice is almost done and I haven’t finished anything else yet! This recipe is only supposed to take a half hour! And it’s a Level 1! I suck at this!
Oh, here’s the rest of the green beans…ooops, my bad.
I’m pretty sure this isn’t how you’re supposed to toast sesame seeds.
They’re attacking me! Like seriously jumping out of the pan!
Do we really need the sesame seeds? I think I screwed this up.
Some way, somehow, the meal turned out edible. And actually pretty good.
Leftover ingredients…like when hubby puts a bike together and there’s extra screws….
And the real reason I hate cooking…the holy mess.




In all, it wasn’t a terrible experience. The good part is, even with me cooking, the food was quite delicious and the kids licked their plates clean.That proves that it’s almost idiot proof, although I’m NOT attempting a Level 2 meal. Thankfully though there was only three of us eating tonight since there’s no way the food supplied would have fed all of us. Unless of course, our portion sizes are supposed to be smaller than what we actually eat. If that’s the case, we’re in big trouble. The bad part is, I’m still not a cook and I pretty much still hate cooking. Now if someone could deliver freshly cooked meals to my door that are prepared already, well that would definitely be worth the investment. Oh wait, don’t they have that already? It’s called pizza and it’s what we’re having tomorrow night ‘cuz I’m not cooking.

Update: I’ve since tried Blue Apron and Home Chef in addition to Hello Fresh and Home Chef is a favorite! Much less mess and tons of food choices! Everyone loves it. If you try them out, tell them Heather Balog sent you!



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