So You Had a Bad Day; You’re NOT a Bad Mom

It’s been one of those days. You know the ones…you wake up with a feeling of impending doom and have the sneaking suspicion that you should just stay in bed. But of course, your responsible side implores you to get your butt up and get moving because after all, they’d never make it through the day if you didn’t.
The day starts off with one disaster after another. The milk has gone bad and there are no eggs, English muffins or bagels either. You have a run in your stockings and you forgot to shave one leg. The dog has chewed a shoe or maybe he’s actually chewed the buttons of your child’s dress that she was planning to wear for picture day (yes, that has actually happened). You cap the morning off by spilling your coffee all over yourself when you discover the newspaper thrower person has actually managed to dent your car with the paper full of coupons that you never get a chance to cut out anyway. I mean, really, who has time for that?
You get to work and attempt to slog through your day. Maybe your boss is in a pissy mood and gave you a poor review. Or your coworker won’t stop bitching about her in laws not matter how many times you tell her it’s NOT unreasonable that they still send their son a birthday card. The computer is in “glitch mode” and your phone won’t stop ringing. You have a migraine by noon and you just want to put your head down and go back to sleep. But you can’t because your husband “forgot” he was playing golf and now you have to rush to pick up the kids.
So needless to say, this is the kind of day your kids should rally around you and do everything in their power to make your day better, right? Wrong! This is the day your kid or kids are going to dump even more misery on your plate and make you doubt yourself because you are vulnerable as it is. Kick her while she’s down so to speak.
This is the day you are going to question every parenting decision you’ve ever made and wonder, really wonder, if maybe you’re not cut out for this gig after all. This is the day your daughter is going to fling her glove down on the softball field and stomp off because she’s bored and you are GOING TO TAKE HER HOME NOW! She’s going to kick and scream and cry and call you the worst mom on Earth because YOU are making her finish the game. This is the day your son is going to screw up his GPA because he can’t seem to get his head out of his ass and off his iPod long enough to remember to not only DO his homework assignments, but bring them to school as well. He’s going to kick and cry and scream and call you the worst mom on Earth when you take that iPod away. Or your daughter is going to have a melt down because she can’t have dessert when she didn’t finish dinner. Or your son is going to flip out when you tell him he has to clean his room. What ever it is, you will be called THE WORST MOM ON EARTH. And you know what? Today is the day you may start to agree with them.
Or maybe this is the day you let them watch six hours of TV so you can catch up on the laundry because your house is a wreck and you’ve been neglecting it. Or maybe it’s the day you say to hell with it and let them have dessert for dinner because you need a break. Perhaps you forgot to tell them to go to bed because you’re engrossed in this blog and now it’s an hour after their bedtimes. Or maybe you locked yourself in the bathroom and ignored them all night because you had such a lousy day and you just can’t take the whining for another second.
You used to stand firm in your rules and your decisions but now you question them every time. Am I really doing this for them? Am I just doing this to make my life easier? Or because I think this is what I should do? What if I’ve been going about this all wrong and I’ve screwed them up forever? Have I taught them NOTHING at all? Can I get a do-over?
You’ll be up all night, tossing and turning, thinking, “maybe I shouldn’t be so hard on him”, “maybe I don’t pay enough attention to them” or “maybe I should start only making food that she likes for dinner”. You’re second guessing yourself. You’re feeling low and like you really are, THE WORST MOM ON EARTH.
KNOCK IT OFF!!! First of all, if you WERE the worst mom on Earth you wouldn’t be second guessing yourself. Hell, you wouldn’t even be reading this because you’d be lying in a ditch somewhere stoned off your ass after you gave your money to a guy named Rico who promised you he could take you to see a unicorn. Seriously. You’re not the worst mom. Yes, we all have bad days. We all have off days. We yell and scream and threaten. We adopt an apathetic attitude and hide under our covers. We coddle them and don’t stick to our guns. And you know what. It’s fine. You’re a pretty decent mom 99.9% of the time. You’re not winning Mom of the year! but hell, we can’t all be June Cleaver. You love those little poop heads more than you love yourself. And deep down, they know it. So do yourself a favor and stop beating yourself up. After all, that’s what you have kids for. Let go of the container of Rocky road and put away the bottle of wine.
Forgive yourself. Go to bed. And tomorrow, pick yourself up by your boot straps (whatever those are) and be the best damn Mom I know you can be.

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