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What I Want

I was talking with an old friend the other night and she jokingly told me “you have it all.” I laughed it off, but later I started thinking, do I really have it all? It might seem that way to someone who is just looking from the outside in. But I live with too many “Wants” to have it all. And then turning on the news, yet again, this morning, I realized, no, I truly don’t “have it all”. Because what I want, what I want for my CHILDREN, is not obtainable in the world we live in.

I want: my kids to get up in the morning and throw on their clothes and not worry about being bullied for their choices.

I want: my kids to get on the bus and go into their school and not worry about shelter in place drills and lockdowns and lockouts.

I want: my kids to enjoy their lives, go to concerts and movies and malls without having to worry about a madmad ending their lives because of that enjoyment.

I want: my kids to go on vacation and travel the world without having to fear people hurting them just because they can.

I want: my kids to be able to speak their mind without fear of retaliation.

I want: my kids to live in a world where they are able to respect the people put in charge of them, police officers, teachers, even the government.

I want: my kids to live in a world where every tragedy doesn’t end up an agenda, an argument, a reason to point fingers.

I want: my kids to know Everyone’s lives matter—THEIR lives matter.

I want: my kids to be able to respect people for differences and opinions…they don’t have to like them, just tolerate them.

I want: people to just freaking be nice to each other. I want everyone to stop arguing about everything. I want what everyone else wants. I just want happiness for me and everyone around me.

And the worst part is, every time a tragedy occurs, we use it to fuel our hatred even more. Why???? Why can’t we say, “Wow, that’s horrible that happened. Let me reflect on/ send prayers/give thanks it wasn’t my family”????? There are bad people in this world that are going to do bad things…let’s not let them destroy us all in the process. I’m not saying let’s join hands and sing Kumbayah. I’m just saying, can we just take that energy that we waste on anger and hatred and just use it for love and tolerance? Stop criticizing and denouncing and build someone up instead? How hard is that? Why can’t we have that? When I was a kid, it didn’t seem that hard. Why is it so hard now? It’s bad enough we have tragic accidents, cancer and other diseases killing us off before our time…why are we living in a world where the hatred is killing us off too? Tomorrow isn’t promised to us. Happiness isn’t promised to us. It can all be destroyed in an instant. So no, I don’t have it all. None of us do.

Cooking for Dum(me)

Dinnertime in our house sucks. I have about five meals I make decently enough to not hear complaints, but that gets old really fast. I’ve tried branching out and collecting recipes on Pinterest, but honestly, I’m pretty fed up with the “eww, I don’t want that” and “yuck, that’s gross” that I hear practically every single time I cook something new. And that’s only my husband. 😉 With the time I spend planning, shopping for the ingredients, cooking, and then cleaning up, each meal is a three hour affair. So I recently decided to succumb to the advertising in my Facebook feed and try one of those “meals delivered to your door” sites.

Now the one I tried was cheaper because of a friend’s coupon, but I was immediately perturbed by the fact I couldn’t choose the meals. What kid likes more than five things? And the fact that you could only order for two people or four. Um, two of my people eat enough for four people. There was no way we were going to have enough food. I was already skeptical, but what did I have to lose? (Except $70).

Anyway, the box came today and I honestly should have video taped it all. Instead, I’ve put together a lovely photo collage with captions about my evening cooking experience.







This is supposed to be enough green beans for a family of four??? What are we, mice?

Green onions…I HATE green onions. What is WITH them? Why are they in every “Healthy” thing I try to eat??? Do they put them in there so you don’t get sick? I mean, who’s coming near you after you eat a bushel of green onions besides the dog? (And he eats his own poops, so it’s not really complimentary).

Ok I think the rice is almost done and I haven’t finished anything else yet! This recipe is only supposed to take a half hour! And it’s a Level 1! I suck at this!

Oh, here’s the rest of the green beans…ooops, my bad.

I’m pretty sure this isn’t how you’re supposed to toast sesame seeds.

They’re attacking me! Like seriously jumping out of the pan!

Do we really need the sesame seeds? I think I screwed this up.

Some way, somehow, the meal turned out edible. And actually pretty good.

Leftover ingredients…like when hubby puts a bike together and there’s extra screws….

And the real reason I hate cooking…the holy mess.




In all, it wasn’t a terrible experience. The good part is, even with me cooking, the food was quite delicious and the kids licked their plates clean.That proves that it’s almost idiot proof, although I’m NOT attempting a Level 2 meal. Thankfully though there was only three of us eating tonight since there’s no way the food supplied would have fed all of us. Unless of course, our portion sizes are supposed to be smaller than what we actually eat. If that’s the case, we’re in big trouble. The bad part is, I’m still not a cook and I pretty much still hate cooking. Now if someone could deliver freshly cooked meals to my door that are prepared already, well that would definitely be worth the investment. Oh wait, don’t they have that already? It’s called pizza and it’s what we’re having tomorrow night ‘cuz I’m not cooking.

Update: I’ve since tried Blue Apron and Home Chef in addition to Hello Fresh and Home Chef is a favorite! Much less mess and tons of food choices! Everyone loves it. If you try them out, tell them Heather Balog sent you!