I was talking with an old friend the other night and she jokingly told me “you have it all.”

I laughed it off, but later I started thinking, do I really have it all? It might seem that way to someone who is just looking from the outside in.

But I live with too many “Wants” to have it all. And then turning on the news, yet again, this morning, I realized, no, I truly don’t “have it all”. Because what I want, what I want for my CHILDREN, is not obtainable in the world we live in.

I want: my kids to get up in the morning and throw on their clothes and not worry about being bullied for their choices.

I want: my kids to get on the bus and go into their school and not worry about shelter in place drills and lockdowns and lockouts.

I want: my kids to enjoy their lives, go to concerts and movies and malls without having to worry about a madmad ending their lives because of that enjoyment.

I want: my kids to go on vacation and travel the world without having to fear people hurting them just because they can.

I want: my kids to be able to speak their mind without fear of retaliation.

I want: my kids to live in a world where they are able to respect the people put in charge of them, police officers, teachers, even the government.

I want: my kids to live in a world where every tragedy doesn’t end up an agenda, an argument, a reason to point fingers.

I want: my kids to know Everyone’s lives matter—THEIR lives matter.

I want: my kids to be able to respect people for differences and opinions…they don’t have to like them, just tolerate them.

I want: people to just freaking be nice to each other. I want everyone to stop arguing about everything. I want what everyone else wants. I just want happiness for me and everyone around me.

And the worst part is, every time a tragedy occurs, we use it to fuel our hatred even more. Why???? Why can’t we say, “Wow, that’s horrible that happened. Let me reflect on/ send prayers/give thanks it wasn’t my family”?????

There are bad people in this world that are going to do bad things…let’s not let them destroy us all in the process. I’m not saying let’s join hands and sing Kumbayah. I’m just saying, can we just take that energy that we waste on anger and hatred and just use it for love and tolerance? Stop criticizing and denouncing and build someone up instead? How hard is that? Why can’t we have that?

When I was a kid, it didn’t seem that hard. Why is it so hard now? It’s bad enough we have tragic accidents, cancer and other diseases killing us off before our time…why are we living in a world where the hatred is killing us off too? Tomorrow isn’t promised to us. Happiness isn’t promised to us. It can all be destroyed in an instant. So no, I don’t have it all. None of us do.