Parenting truly is the hardest job we will ever have in our lives. It starts in pregnancy when each thing you subject your body to or put in your mouth has the potential to alter your future child’s life. It continues after they’re born, everything you say or do could shape them and their personalities. It’s a fine line to walk every single day. We second guess ourselves constantly and we don’t need other people to make us feel worse than we already do.
Yet, I realize that moms can be extremely judgmental and nit picking of other mothers. I try not to be that way for the most part, after all, as long as you’re not being abusive to your child you know best. To each his own. Right?
Of course, the snarky side of me just cannot resist commenting on some questionable parenting comments as I am sure you have realized from my blogs. One of my biggest pet peeves is parents who think little Johnny or Suzy can do no wrong. They could never make the mistakes…they could never be the bully, they could never be the one who put the tack on the teacher’s chair, and if they do make a mistake, it is never their fault. Some force of nature MUST be personally working against them. Basically, their sh*t don’t stink.
Time and time again I hear it…”not MY child”. Or “so and so would NEVER do something like that!” When they make an error in judgment ( as we all do from time to time), there is an excuse. “Oh she’s overtired” or “he’s just getting over an injury”. Seriously. We we all mistakes…teach your kids to own up to them at a young age and they will be gracious losers when they lose a game and own up to their short comings when they don’t know how to do something.
If you constantly make excuses for their behavior or their school progress or their sports performance, they will not only not develop skills to be a likable adult, they’ll realize they can get a lot by you because you’ll never suspect them of anything less than perfection.
Think about it. If you go away and leave your flawless teenager in charge of the house and you come home to a trashed residence, you’re more likely to believe his concocted story about the burglars who tied him up and then threw a party for their fellow criminals. Can you say ” naive”?
I’m not saying be harsh, rip them to shreds and never praise them. Quite the contrary. Tell them when they’ve made you proud…make sure they know when they’ve disappointed you. And be realistic. If your child’s teacher tell you that they ate their classmate’s pencil, don’t immediately accuse the teacher of lying. Realize it PROBABLY happened and your little darling either has a vitamin deficiency or they were being a pain in the a$$ nudge. ( the second is FAR more likely).
If your daughter misses a foul shot in her basketball game and hits the fans in the bleachers, don’t turn to everyone and announce she has a knot in her neck from sleeping wrong and that’s why her aim is off.
When your middle schooler comes home with his first D, don’t say the teacher has it in for him. Find out what the problem is…maybe he needs help. Or maybe he’s staying up way too late playing Call of Duty.
When your 18 year old gets in an accident, don’t blame the unicorn that ran across the road. Because the bottom line is…you are doing your child a disservice if you don’t accept the fact that he or she is human.
I think people assume that they look bad if their child isn’t the star. Your kid isn’t going to be the star of everything. If they sound like a cat being pecked to death by hens when they sing, don’t tell them their singing voice is beautiful. If they trip over their own two feet, soccer probably isn’t their forte.
Everyone needs to discover what they are good at. And even when they figure that out, you have to realize, they won’t always be the best. Someone will always be better.
Okay, I’ll get off my soapbox now. Sometimes things just tick me off and I need to vent. Hey, I didn’t say it would always be funny, but I did say it would always be true.
If you’d like to help me out in my quest to leave you LOL, feel free to leave me suggestions about what topics you’d like me to blog about for next time.