Wondering what to get your mother for the big holiday coming up this Sunday? I’ve decided to put my dislike for this day aside (see Mother’s Day Misery) and help you all out in your gift giving enthusiasm. Here are a few simple rules to follow in order to make this Mother’s Day the best for your mom.
#1. Don’t cook your mother a meal…unless you plan on cleaning up the ENTIRE meal. This means scrubbing the waffle iron clean and running the dishwasher. This includes the knives you use and the mugs she drinks out of. It also mean you need to clean up the milk you spill on the floor and the flour that ends up on the ceiling fan.
Not willing to do that? Then no breakfast in bed and no elaborate French dinners. Mom does NOT want to clean up your mess. She also does NOT want to go out to eat with a million other moms. So what to eat? Order take out or make burgers on the grill (and don’t forget—it’s YOUR job to clean it up). Some moms are partial to Sangria, chips and guacamole for lunch on Mother’s Day…hint, hint, mi familia.
#2. Don’t spend a lot of money on a gift. I’m not kidding. Mom doesn’t want an expensive gift. Spending money doesn’t show you care. What means more than an expensive gift? Get her something she’s mentioned over the last few months—tickets for a movie she wants to see, a book she wants to read, gardening tools for her garden, a gift card to get a pedicure…Prove to her that what she says really DOESN’T go in one ear and out the other.
#3. DON’T get her something that “typical” moms like, if you know it’s not her thing. Some moms really don’t like flowers, chocolate, or jewelry—don’t get those things for your mother if you’ve never seen her wear a piece of jewelry, she’s on a diet, and flowers make her break out into hives. Also, don’t get her a gift that YOU want for yourself. No mom wants to hear, “Oh you don’t like video games? I guess I’ll have it then.” (She probably WOULD like a bottle of wine though…I mean, only if it’s her thing. 😉)
#4. She does not want to chauffeur you around on Mother’s Day. Don’t make plans if you don’t drive. (She also doesn’t want to entertain your friends on Mother’s Day, either. Don’t ask if they can come over.)
#5. She does not want to be the ones to make plans for Mother’s Day. Do not wake up on Sunday and ask her “what are we doing today?”. DEFINITELY do not ask her “What’s for dinner?”.
#6. She doesn’t want to do any of her “normal” chores on Mother’s Day—so the best present you could give her actually doesn’t cost a cent. Vacuum, clean the bathrooms, do the laundry, dust, iron, wash the windows, weed the garden, wash the dishes, and go to the grocery store. Sounds like a lot? Yeah, moms do a lot every day.
#7. She really doesn’t want anything homemade—if you’re over the age of 10. Put the crayon down.
#8. She want you to get along with your siblings…for just one damn day. It’s really NOT that hard…just don’t touch them. Or look at them. Or breathe on them. Or be in the same room as them.
#9. Give her a hug and kiss. I bet she wouldn’t mind hearing that she is loved and appreciated. (Don’t kick your brother while he is giving your mother a hug, either.)
#10. You know what mom wants the MOST? Let her sit and relax. Bring her a drink. Don’t annoy her or pepper her with demands. She gave up her body for you for 9 months and pushed your big head out.
GIVE HER SOME PEACE AND QUIET. She deserves it.