After today, I think I may be closing out my Facebook account. At least, I probably won’t be going on as often as I have in the past. You see, today I saw more ridiculous postings than I’ve ever seen in the past and I really want to throw my phone against the wall.

It started off with a video of a “Promposal”. Nope, no typo…that’s right, a PROMPOSAL. A high school senior asked his girlfriend of two years to the prom with signs and balloons. She was shocked and crying and bowled over, like he had told he was a closet billionaire and wanted to sweep her away to Europe. Um, how is this a surprise?

If you’re dating someone and it’s prom time, don’t you ASSUME you’ll go together??? I think this was the convo between me and my boyfriend when we were seniors (now my husband):
Me: The prom is coming up.
Him: Yeah.
Me: We should go.
Him: Ok. I’ll pick you up at 6.
Me: Make sure you get a corsage.
Him: Ok.

That was it. Actually, I might have had to remind him to rent a tux, but seriously, no balloons, no flowers…and guess what? IT WAS FINE! We survived! (His marriage proposal wasn’t much more exciting, but at least he had a ring to give me).

It’s like this up and coming generation is trying to outdo each other with each and every simple act by going over the top. Everything is look at ME!

I saw one picture of a bridal party at a shower. Ten bridesmaids. Another had fourteen! FOURTEEN! I don’t even know fourteen people I hate enough to demand they empty their wallets and go broke in the process of me getting married.

When I got married I had four bridemaids and a junior bridesmaid. I didn’t care what shoes they wore or how their hair was. As long as they showed up and had fun, it was all good. But is it good enough for today’s Bridezillas? Not a chance. They want their wedding day planned down to the hair in their groom’s nostrils. It’s not about the marriage…it’s about the “perfect” day.

It starts with a catchy little way to trick your bridal party to fork over their lifesavings and the next year of their existence along with their sanity. Maybe it’s “bridesmaidposal” on a balloon or a fishing hook in a wineglass (“You’re hooked into my wedding…wink, wink). You can blame Pintrest for these ideas; they’re in the same section as “Promoposals”.

Then, there’s an over the top shower with seven hundred and fifty pages of necessary items on ten different registries. Seriously, what newlyweds need crystal salt and pepper shakers? You’re just going to be eating Ramen noodles for the first five years of your marriage anyway.

After that, there’s a bachelorette party (which usually involves a weekend away). What twenty three year old needs a weekend away? What are they getting away from??? Girls, save your weekends away for when you have kids and going to the bathroom alone is considered a vacation.

Then comes the actual wedding which costs anywhere from $40,000 upwards. You know what $40,000 is? A new car that’s going to last longer than eight hours. Or a down payment on a house. We spent less than half that amount on our wedding (including the honeymoon) and guess what? We’re just as married as these kids are.

And it doesn’t end after the wedding either. When the babies some, there’s a whole new animal…gender reveal parties. What. The. F??? Whole parties to announce the sex of your child, complete with cake and balloons again. Do you really think people care that much if your kid is a boy or a girl???? Do you bring gifts to these parties? I don’t know because I’m pretty sure I would refuse to go to one. Let me know what you had via a cute little post card in the mail. Seriously, I don’t need to eat pink cake and drink blue punch.

It’ll never end for this generation because they seem to be out to show the world how important and complete their lives are. They’re continuing their traditions of overabundance and over indulgence with their children.

You didn’t throw your one year old a party at the swankiest reception hall in town? Shame on you! And their Sweet Sixteen was held in your backyard???? Without an ice sculpture that spells out their name???? How dare you! You must not love your kid! And you certainly aren’t going to help breed the next generation of narcissists.

On second thought, thanks again. There’s no more room for them on this planet.